Saturday, October 29, 2005
Bengbu - Nanny Gifts - some feedback
I wanted to relate a comment I received indirectly from the staff at Bengbu.
During the final time in the meeting room together, I attempted a candid question on what the nannies would like as a gift from families traveling to Bengbu.
I received an interesting lesson in American vs. Chinese culture.
I was told (again, indirectly) that the nannies do not prefer soaps, shampoos, or cosmetics. In fact, they tended towards disliking these gifts, although I'm sure they wouldn't admit this openly. I was really surprised at this comment, as I remember reading many posts where people had commented that this was the ideal gift for the staff.
We had taken these along on our two adoption trips.
I asked, "we really want to get you folks something that you'd like. Something that you might need. Just let me know, and I'll let people know what to get!"
They responded, "we would really like to get something that comes from your heart. For example, some people from France gave us a scarf, which we were told is a typical heartfelt gift from France."
I thought that they were merely trying to appease me, but later I found out from YongMing that they were being very honest. It seems that in Chinese culture, a gift from the heart is much more meaningful than something that is useful, in these particular cases. So even if the gift has no practical use, it's meaning from the giver is the most important aspect of the gift.
YongMing later offered me some perspective, and offered his theory. He told me that in the late 60's and 70's, many common items were very scarce, and even required a ticket or stamp in order to purchase. One of these such items were soap. People actually had to have a ticket in order to buy soap (of course today things are very different, with soap and shampoo being readily available). He said that perhaps the gifts of soap and cosmetics might actually be misconstrued as an insult, with the perceived message being, "here you go, now you can finally have some soap, and you don't need a ticket".
I told him that this message couldn't have been further from the truth, and he knew this to be true. But YongMing offered this as a possible explanation as to why this gift didn't go over well with the staff.
During the final time in the meeting room together, I attempted a candid question on what the nannies would like as a gift from families traveling to Bengbu.
I received an interesting lesson in American vs. Chinese culture.
I was told (again, indirectly) that the nannies do not prefer soaps, shampoos, or cosmetics. In fact, they tended towards disliking these gifts, although I'm sure they wouldn't admit this openly. I was really surprised at this comment, as I remember reading many posts where people had commented that this was the ideal gift for the staff.
We had taken these along on our two adoption trips.
I asked, "we really want to get you folks something that you'd like. Something that you might need. Just let me know, and I'll let people know what to get!"
They responded, "we would really like to get something that comes from your heart. For example, some people from France gave us a scarf, which we were told is a typical heartfelt gift from France."
I thought that they were merely trying to appease me, but later I found out from YongMing that they were being very honest. It seems that in Chinese culture, a gift from the heart is much more meaningful than something that is useful, in these particular cases. So even if the gift has no practical use, it's meaning from the giver is the most important aspect of the gift.
YongMing later offered me some perspective, and offered his theory. He told me that in the late 60's and 70's, many common items were very scarce, and even required a ticket or stamp in order to purchase. One of these such items were soap. People actually had to have a ticket in order to buy soap (of course today things are very different, with soap and shampoo being readily available). He said that perhaps the gifts of soap and cosmetics might actually be misconstrued as an insult, with the perceived message being, "here you go, now you can finally have some soap, and you don't need a ticket".
I told him that this message couldn't have been further from the truth, and he knew this to be true. But YongMing offered this as a possible explanation as to why this gift didn't go over well with the staff.
# posted by PoH_to_China_2005 @ 9:52 AM 
